Oor Furst Evur McGonnagall Supper – 22 March 2019







We had a wild time last Friday at the Horizon Hotel for our club’s furst ever McGonnagall supper – the very antithesis to our traditional and reverential Burns suppers. The two national poets could hardly be more different and the same was true of the supper. This was staged by Neil Beattie and his excellent band of helpers in order to raise funds for our Malawi project.

For those who don’t know, McGonagall has been lampooned as the worst poet in British history. The chief criticisms are that he was deaf to poetic metaphor and unable to scan correctly. His only apparent understanding of poetry was his belief that it needed to rhyme!

The evening can probably best be described as chaotic with the highly informal ongangs surprising everyone due to their contrary positioning in the programme. It began with the singing of Auld Lang Syne after which Colin Vooght (the Heidyin) wished us a goodnight, hoped that we had all had a great time and would get hame safe.

The meal which followed began with a sorbet starter, and went on to a main course of stovies and a “dessert” of Great Tay whale soup. We were entertained between courses by McGonnagall recitations delivered by an amazing cast of performers:  Muir Austin staggered through the Demon Drink, Douglas Haddow paid tribute to The Beautiful City of Glasgow (partly in song), Jimmy Begg told the tale of the Great Tay Whale, Charles Douglas brought us to tears with his Little Match Girl, John Duncan Dunlop saluted The Burns Statue, and Neil Beattie deafened us with the crashing sound effects of the Tay Bridge Disaster. Who’d have known we had such an array of talent within our ranks? Despite these polished performances, the hapless individuals were constantly pelted with a bombardment of plastic balls provided at each table courtesy of Alan Meikle.






Musical entertainment (off-key of course) was kindly provided by Morag Walton on keyboard, and the raffle (which included such useful prizes as a back scratcher and a toilet brush) was extensive with winners too numerous to mention.




Alistair tyre drew the hugely successful evening to a close with a clever poem imagining W T McGonnagall passing comment on the supper held in his honour by Ayr Rotary Club.

The unanimous verdict was that we should do this again; perhaps every second year.